I'm talking/thinking/listening about Sadness today. Sometimes, I think it's necessary to think about these things, it's a part of life and unavoidable. At the same time, I want to talk about my Sadness Checklist if you're in it deep right now. These are the things I force myself to consider when I'm feeling down, overwhelmed, or anxious:
Did you drink enough water? Yep, I know, but it's legitimately important, not drinking enough water can effect your mood and how tired you are.
Did you eat, if so did you eat well? Same as above, sounds silly, sure, but making sure you're fed properly changes how you feel. Eat some fruits and vegetables ffs, M&M's are not food.
Get out of bed, get dressed. Just do it, you know why.
Did I do something active today? Take a walk, get outside, get out of your environment for awhile.
Am I putting something off that's causing me anxiety? Don't think, just do it.
Am I focusing on something I know brings me down? Turn off the news, tell the needy people in your life you're busy, do something or be around people that are energizing.
Are you tired? Did you stay up too late anger typing on the internet? GO TAKE A NAP!
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Janet Logan 🏳️⚧️
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Janet Logan 🏳️⚧️ • • •Wandering Hermit
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Great list! May I suggest one addition?
Play some sad music, and have a good cry. You'll feel better for it.
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Wandering Hermit • • •Wandering Hermit
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Wandering Hermit • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •pinecones
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •sleep is the one that always gets me.
but yeah, the basic tired, thirsty, hungry stuff is important to keep in mind. easy to forget that human physiological constraints affect your mood.
making checklists that include small things also help a ton for me, but that might just be the ADHD.
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pinecones
in reply to pinecones • • •also I've dealt with depression life-long and something I've used to reframe how it affects me is by considering negative self-talk as a delusion.
if I'm being particularly down on myself or feeling like everything is bad or will turn out bad, I remind myself that it's the delusion speaking and that's not ME.
I am not my negative inner monologue. I am not my depression. it is lying to me.
pinecones
in reply to pinecones • • •this came from looking into "depressive realism" and realizing that it fit me.
but if you buy into the basic concept you have to either choose to believe that the world is a terrible place and that normal people are delusional OR that believing the world is a terrible place itself is delusional.
but you have a choice in what you choose to believe.
Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to pinecones • • •rrb
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •@pinecones_sx
Sartre
Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to pinecones • • •TayFoNay ☕️ :bc:
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Maggie Maybe
in reply to TayFoNay ☕️ :bc: • • •It helps.
Velocirooster adminensis :bc:
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Velocirooster adminensis :bc: • • •Aaron
in reply to Velocirooster adminensis :bc: • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Aaron • • •Aaron
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Aaron • • •rothko ☕️ ♏️
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •The Universal Christ (Paperback)
CAC BookstoreAaron
in reply to Aaron • • •Cheradenine Zakalwe
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Sleep is vital.
Corollary: Chronic insomnia is a cast-iron bitch with poisoned spike heels.
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Cheradenine Zakalwe • • •Cheradenine Zakalwe
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Cheradenine Zakalwe • • •Cheradenine Zakalwe
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •I've often wondered how much better I would cope with a day of about 28 hours.
This actually ties into a past factor I already know about. When I was 18 months old I was in a house fire, and spent 8 months in hospital. At the time the conventional "wisdom" in NHS hospitals was to keep the lights on low 24 hours a day, on the theory that it enabled nurses to just look into the wards to check on kids without having to go in and risk disturbing them. The INTENTION was good.
The effect was that during a crucial period for forming lifelong sleep patterns, I had no day/night cycle. (And for at least part of it I was effectively in sensory near-deprivation.) And I strongly suspect that is correlated with my having had insomnia literally as far back as I can remember.
There's a correlation here: Experiments in caves have found that if you isolate people completely from day/night lighting cycles, over a period of several months they settle down to a sleep cycle of about 27-28 hours. The human diurnal cycle basically works as a phase-locke
... show moreI've often wondered how much better I would cope with a day of about 28 hours.
This actually ties into a past factor I already know about. When I was 18 months old I was in a house fire, and spent 8 months in hospital. At the time the conventional "wisdom" in NHS hospitals was to keep the lights on low 24 hours a day, on the theory that it enabled nurses to just look into the wards to check on kids without having to go in and risk disturbing them. The INTENTION was good.
The effect was that during a crucial period for forming lifelong sleep patterns, I had no day/night cycle. (And for at least part of it I was effectively in sensory near-deprivation.) And I strongly suspect that is correlated with my having had insomnia literally as far back as I can remember.
There's a correlation here: Experiments in caves have found that if you isolate people completely from day/night lighting cycles, over a period of several months they settle down to a sleep cycle of about 27-28 hours. The human diurnal cycle basically works as a phase-locked loop, a well known trick in electronics: you make a clock deliberately run slightly slow, and then every so many cycles, you resync it to an external signal. The external signal to reset humans' diurnal clock is dawn.
I really think that time in the burns ward permanently broke my internal clock.
(Then you add in the autistic-spectrum 'brain won't shut down' effect ... a recent study found that neurodivergent brains generate 42% more data/processing activity when resting than neurotypical.)
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Cheradenine Zakalwe • • •Aaron
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Coffee is known to work as a quick pick-me-up for people feeling down. Not just me; there's research to back it up.
Don't try it for anxiety, though. It can make that worse.
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Cheradenine Zakalwe
in reply to Aaron • • •PirateRo
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to PirateRo • • •PirateRo
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FuzzFace ☢️ :clippy:
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Hans Vink 🐦
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •How about telling yourself that it's OK to feel sad? We're trying to convince each other of the opposite by sharing only/mostly the great things that happen to us. It can make you feel shit about your own life. But everybody has their own issues they struggle with. It's OK.
And take a break from internet life.
Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Hans Vink 🐦 • • •Cefr
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •A friend of mine wouldn’t put up with certain parts of my depression a few years back.
“I’m stupid, I’ll never figure this mess out. Might as well give it up.”
“Stop saying mean things about people I love!”
“I didn’t, I’m talking about myself—“
“Exactly! You’re not stupid, and you’re a whole person, feelings, fears, hopes, and all. You can be down, but don’t ever be down on yourself.”
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hybrid havoc
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •I have been working for the last couple of months to develop habits around daily activity, whether it's just walking or mixing in weight training.
While it originally started due to back pain, I have to say that it has significantly shifted my mood. I've struggled with depression most of my adult life, and this feels pleasantly odd.
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to hybrid havoc • • •rothko ☕️ ♏️
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Timo
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Timo • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
Unknown parent • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
Unknown parent • • •Toxy 🔬🇪🇺🇸🇪🇬🇧🇺🇦
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •And also to realise that sadness is there for a very good evolutionary reason sometimes. Win.
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
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Toxy 🔬🇪🇺🇸🇪🇬🇧🇺🇦
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •And it is very useful. Tbh I didn’t expect a space like this in the social media hellscape. 🙂
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Edge :toad:
in reply to Toxy 🔬🇪🇺🇸🇪🇬🇧🇺🇦 • • •J. R. DePriest :verified_trans: :donor: :Moopsy: :EA DATA. SF:
in reply to Toxy 🔬🇪🇺🇸🇪🇬🇧🇺🇦 • • •That "realizing you are the only one" criticizing you is a big one for me. Helps keep me out of the rut when I remember to remind myself.
𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 :v_bi:
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •If it’s situational sadness (big changes in life), we need a different type of coping mechanisms than for depression and anxiety. But in both cases, remembering small things I like/love, grounds me
For me, I think about my kid being silly, giant sunflowers, crisp autumn mornings with bright skies, great games created by talented humans… so many wonderful things in the world! ☺️
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to 𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 :v_bi: • • •𝙵𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚑 :v_bi:
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Veirling | #MMIWG #LandBack
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Veirling | #MMIWG #LandBack • • •Veirling | #MMIWG #LandBack
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
Unknown parent • • •𝓐𝓷𝓭𝔂𝓣𝓲𝓮𝓭𝔂𝓮 𓀤
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civfanatics
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •This can be alleviated by one of the points on the list, "do something active".
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to civfanatics • • •Quincy Peck
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Quincy Peck • • •Caiotekit Creations
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Clara Listensprechen
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Tassilo
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Tassilo • • •rrb
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DirtWood
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MissConstrue
in reply to DirtWood • • •just another gingerbread man
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •But what do you mean M&Ms aren’t food? Since when?
Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to just another gingerbread man • • •Cefr
in reply to just another gingerbread man • • •@jb Enjoy them, but it shouldn’t take the place of a meal.
(If you’re like me and can’t enjoy them without the bag becoming empty moments later that may be saying too much too. I can’t have candy around, myself.)
ethan
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •"Do something poorly" has helped me at times. Maybe I'm too down to do a proper walk - go just around the block (and be open to going further if it feels right). Get out of bed and put on clothes but not your shoes if that's a bridge too far. Wash half the dishes, or a dish.
It's "better" to do things well, but giving ourselves permission to do things poorly can help a ton.
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to ethan • • •TanyaKaroli
in reply to ethan • • •mizblueprint
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to mizblueprint • • •aethervision
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to aethervision • • •aethervision
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to aethervision • • •Rev. Roger BW 😷
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Cheradenine Zakalwe
Unknown parent • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Cheradenine Zakalwe • • •Veebs
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Cheradenine Zakalwe
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •yeah, that matches what I've since read in medical journals etc, "works for some people"
I seem to recall reading a study that identified about 12 different compounds that can be sleep triggers for different people
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Bob Williams
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Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
in reply to Bob Williams • • •Bob Williams
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr
Unknown parent • • •Colopen
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •This is a great list and all but "M&M's are not food." Are you sure about that?.gif
Serious answers:
1. Listening to music.
2. If possible, smell flowers or a pleasant fragrance.
3. Get artsy! Drawing, coloring, etc can relieve restlessness or be a good distraction.
4. Pet you cat, dog, ferret, iguana, ant farm, ET etc
5. Watch or listen to something funny. I recommend Aunty Donna. Look them up on YouTube.
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wendinaokland
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FowlMammaTodd
in reply to Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr • • •go pet animal. Now put animal poo in a brown bag, put it on your mortal enemy’s porch.
Sometimes you have to brown bag life’s porch and light that bad boy up. Survive because it’s better than life winning.
Darren du Nord
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memphis mary
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