The inventor, Theodore Hubert Larson, designed this thing to, as the name suggests, wash the vagina. Its shape is intended to be "readily inserted" in there. And once the vaginal washer is in, it is supposed to - we really hope you listened when we told you to cross your legs - "brush and scrape the walls thereof".
But how does the thing work, you don't ask because you probably really don't want to know. We're going to tell you anyway. First, the vaginal washer squirts a "cleaning liquid" in with a syringe. But wait, this isn't just some kind of over-engineered douche!
Then, you turn a crank handle. This makes the "wipers" rotate around to give everything a good scrub. "Wipers" is Theodore Hubert Larson's words, not ours.
One more thing, just in case you need another wince to kick off your afternoon: the vaginal washer was made out of nickel. Up to 19% of people are allergic to nickel, and nickel sensitivity is much more common if you have a vagina.
You can uncross your legs now, though. See, Theodore Hubert Larson said in his application that the contraption is "so designed that it will not injure any of the parts operated on during the rotary brushing or cleaning operation." Phew. Let's just trust him, then.
If it's any consolation whatsoever, there's no records of this most cursed and wretched device ever having been sold. For some reason, there was absolutely no demand for a crank-operated vag-scraper.
We hope we don't need to tell you that despite the patent having expired on the vaginal washer many years ago, PLEASE DO NOT BUILD ONE. There's absolutely nothing about it that would be in any way healthy or good for your vagina.
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Vagina Museum
in reply to Vagina Museum • • •Vagina Museum
in reply to Vagina Museum • • •Then, you turn a crank handle. This makes the "wipers" rotate around to give everything a good scrub. "Wipers" is Theodore Hubert Larson's words, not ours.
Vagina Museum
in reply to Vagina Museum • • •Vagina Museum
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in reply to Vagina Museum • • •An improved version without shower function might have it's potential, no? 🥸
Angela Glansbury 🚽
in reply to Vagina Museum • • •You may be pleased to know this is the only patent he seems to have filed.
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worldwide.espacenet.comTimmy O'Danaos
in reply to Vagina Museum • • •Joana de Castro Arnaud
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